Simple Musings 2: Return of the Gnome
by Lights aura858
Summary: In Which Bartholomus returns, the creator meets her creations, the muse is amused, and the Yu Yu Hakusho gang is wondering why they have to keep enduring this mess...
1. Chapter 1

Return of the Crazy Gnome

* * *

L.A.: Hello! So, one of my baby plot bunnies escaped its cage and forced me to write a sequel to _Simple Musings_.

Amu: Hoozah! More of me!

L.A.: If you haven't read the_ Simple Musings_ then you should read that one first.

Amu: Seriously, this story is confusing as it is.

L.A.: Before you say "What the hell, L.A.? You're supposed to be focusing on _Pencils and Paintbrushes_. Update damn it!!!!!!" I just want to let you know that it is half way done and will be up soon.

Amu: She is just suffering from spontaneous "Oh Crap my story is almost over and I don't want to finish it" syndrome.

L.A.: (nods) Tis true but writing this should help.

Amu: (shifty eyes) which you will soon see…

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I just own my crazy mind.

* * *

It was summer. A time for relaxing and carefree frolicking. It was a time to soak of the rays of sun and gets some good old fashion vitamin D. L.A. was enjoying every minute of it. She typed happily away on her computer while the Walt Disney Documentary for the umpteenth time. She was sure that if she kept watching, she would learn his secrets and become a famous story teller as well.

Searching for inspiration for her writing, she set her laptop down and went out on her porch. Her beach house sat in front of wetlands. When she first heard that her parents were building a house behind wetlands, she had terrifying visions of being surrounded by stinky swamps and crocodiles playing banjos. Instead, she was greeted with beautiful marsh grass and an assortment of wildlife.

Gazing down at the pond, she noticed four turtles swimming idly around. She had nicknamed them the ninja turtles. Fred, the alligator who used to frequent the pond, was nowhere to be found. He had probably gotten bored with her incessant coos of affection whenever she saw him and went into a deeper part of the wetlands. Koi, an orange spotted fish was also missing. When L.A. had first seen the fish she thought it had been mutated. Her guess for its disappearance now was that it had mutated once again and simply walked out of her pond.

She let out a contented sigh as a slight breeze blew by. She loved the beach.

As she let her gaze drift over the wetlands once more, she noticed a little gnome flying towards her.

She did a double take to make sure she was correct. "Oh God," she said as she recognized the approaching figure.

"Oh yes," The figure said as he hovered in front of her. "It is I, Bartholomus."

She looked him up and down. He once again resembled a gnome. "Run out of laundry detergent again?"

"I am not a gnome," Bartholomus said.

L.A. rolled her eyes. "I never said you were."

"Silence!" He said. "You are coming with me."

He snapped his fingers and L.A found herself transported to a brightly colored world.

"Bright green grass, skies that look painted…" She turned and glared at Bartholomus. "Don't tell me you brought us back to the Yu Yu Hakusho world?"

A rustling sound beside her caused her to start.

Amu, L.A.'s muse, was muttering incoherently. The blue wolf quickly sat up as she readjusted her crescent moon mask so that it fell over her right eye. "Stupid falling, my bum hurts." She paused as she looked at L.A. "Oh, wait, I'm alive again?"

"Seriously," L.A. said as she threw her arms up. "You pulled this stunt last time. Do you honestly believe it's going to work?"

Bartholomus grinned. "Oh, I've learned. I have come up with a brilliant plan." He puffed out his chest. "See, I realized I shouldn't have kidnapped the muse instead…" He trailed off as his eyes widened in disbelief. L.A. and Amu were walking away from him. "Where the heck do you think you are going?"

Amu turned back. "You're boring. We're going to find something more interesting."

"I already have too much to worry about in my life," L.A. added. "I don't need to listen to the gnome with an identity crisis."

"I am not a gnome!" Bartholomus screamed. He snapped his fingers and with a pop, L.A. disappeared.

"Gah! We're did L.A. go?" Amu whirled around in a circle searching for her mistress in vain. "Who's going to make me pie?" She glared at Bartholomus. "What did you do with L.A.?"

Bartholomus smirked. "I was telling you but you thought I was boring." He jumped up and hovered in the air. "You now have till tonight to find and save L.A. or else…" He frowned. "That's right, it's summer... She doesn't have any homework assignments looming over her."

Amu nodded.

Bartholomus' face lit up. "Ah, but she does have those stories she writing. What were they…ah, yes." He grinned evilly. "You must find her by tonight or else she will not be able to finish her stories: _Pencils and Paintbrushes, In the Dog House,_ or _Oddball_ and she will lose her readers' interest forever."

"That's dirty" Amu said with a growl.

Bartholomus laughed manically as he vanished in a puff of smoke.

* * *

Amu wandered aimlessly for thirty minutes. Unfortunately, she could not find L.A.'s scent anywhere and she was completely lost. "Maybe if I can find that fountain where I sang Celine Dion I can get my bearings." A dreamy smile crossed her face. "Those were good times." She was distracted from her memories by a temple that loomed into view. She stopped and cocked her head to one side. That temple seemed awfully familiar.

Her ears perked up. "Oh yeah, that's Genkai's temple. Maybe the guys are there." With that happy thought in mind, she bounded towards the temple.

It only took her ten minutes before she reached the temple. She was surprised to see that it was empty.

"Can we help you?" a voice asked.

Amu turned around and her eyes widened. Two girls, a blonde and a brunette, were staring at her curiously. "You're… You're…" Amu began.

"We're…" The brunette raised an eyebrow.

Amu promptly passed out.

* * *

Sira lightly kicked the strange blue wolf. "You think it's dead?"

Tori stooped down and examined the wolf. "She's still breathing. Maybe we should take her inside."

Sira sighed. "I tell you, this world keeps getting weirder and weirder."

* * *

L.A.: Will Bartholomus' plan succeed? What tortures are in store for L.A.? Will Amu ever find the fountain where she sang Celine Dion? What are Sira and Tori even doing in the story? Tune in next time.

Amu: Oh, scary announcer voice.

L.A.: I do have wetlands in my front yard. Also the animals I mentioned are real. I have a picture of Koi on my deviantart account.

Amu: (sighs) The wildlife is so entertaining

L.A.: Anywho, in case you were wondering. Sira and Tori come from _Pencils and Paintbrushes, _my Yu Yu Hakusho story. _In the Doghouse_ is my TMNT fic and _Oddball_ is my Kingdom Hearts fic. Check them out if you're bored.

Amu: Hey, aren't you supposed to be kidnapped?

L.A.: (grumbles) Grr… yes. (Goes back to being kidnapped)

Amu: So, you know what to do. Read and review!


	2. And Now, Part 2

And Now for Part 2

* * *

L.A.: I'm back! Isn't it amazing?

Amu: We've finally escaped evil school, yay!

L.A.: Anywho, here is the last and final chapter of this ridiculous story. So I hope you enjoy!

Amu: Uh, random question.

L.A.: yes

Amu: If you are kidnapped then how are you here?

L.A.: Uh…suspension of disbelief?

Amu: (death glare)

L.A. (sighs) Fine (goes back to being kidnapped)

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I just own my characters and my insane imagination.

* * *

L.A. woke up and found herself in a strange mysterious place. She was inside what appeared to be a birdcage in the middle of a dreary run-down castle.

"You have got to be kidding me," She said as she sat up and glared around the room.

"So, do you like my digs?" Bartholomus asked as he walked into the room.

"If you ever talk like that again, I will hurl," L.A. said as she turned away from him.

Bartholomus stamped his foot. "I've had it! Nobody care about me." He pointed at L.A. "You, however will." He grabbed a huge dusty book from a book shelf and came to sit next to L.A.'s cage. "We will now see my baby pictures."

Putting her hands in her hair, L.A. screamed to the sky. "Noooooooooooooo!"

* * *

At the same time, Amu woke up. Keeping her eyes closed, she used her keen sense of hearing to get her bearings.

"Well sorry," Sira said. "I didn't know she was your friend."

"She's not exactly a friend," Kurama said.

At the sound of his voice, Amu quickly sat up. "Hey Kurama, wassup?" She glanced around and noted that only Sira, Tori, Yusuke, and Kurama were in the room. "Where are the others?"

"Kuwabara's at school and who knows where Hiei is," Yusuke said.

"What? I don't get to see the whole gang again?" Amu growled. "L.A.'s going to be so pissed." Her eyes widened. "Oh yeah, L.A., she's in trouble."

"What happened?" Tori asked.

"She was kidnapped by Bartholomus," Amu sighed. "I still can't believe she got kidnapped by a gnome."

"Your friend got kidnapped by a gnome?" Sira asked. She looked as if she was trying really hard not to laugh.

"L.A. is my writer that I inspire. If we cannot save her then she can't write her stories and she will lose her reviewers forever," Amu said in a dramatic voice. She wiggled her ears to emphasize her point.

"Fine, we'll help you," Yusuke said.

And with that, Tori, Sira, Yusuke, Kurama, and Amu headed out to search for L.A. They had just started searching when Tori said. "What is that?" She pointed to her left.

A giant castle stood before them. There was a pink neon sign that flashed on and off. It read: Bartholomus' Evil Lair.

"Wow," Amu flattened her ears. "How did I not see that?"

"This guy is either really new to this or really stupid," Sira said.

Kurama let out a huge sigh. "Alright, let's go."

* * *

"…and that was the end of fourth grade…" Bartholomus said as he put down one book and picked up another.

L.A. was hunched in a corner with her eye twitching.

At that moment, Amu, Yusuke, Kurama, Sira, and Tori burst into the room.

"L.A., we're here!" Amu said as her tail wagged.

L.A. whirled around to face them. Her eyes were wide as she shook the bars. "He showed me pictures of his naked butt. I have been mentally scarred. Get me out of here!"

Bartholomus clinched his fists as he glared at them. "You aren't allowed here." He pressed a button and cages fell from the ceiling.

Sira, Tori, and Amu were trapped in a cage.

Bartholomus laughed maniacally as he clasped his hands together. "Now you all are my…wait a minute," He frowned. "Weren't there two more of you?"

He sweat dropped as he felt two ominous presences behind him. Turning around, he saw Yusuke and Kurama standing menacingly behind him.

"Uh," Bartholomus stepped back. "We can't just forget about this can we?"

Yusuke and Kurama shook their heads.

* * *

A few minutes later, after Bartholomus screamed like a little girl and was beaten to a pulp, the others were released.

L.A. had finally recovered from shock. "Thanks so much for the save…" She trailed off as she finally noticed the two extra members in the group. "Sira? Tori? What the heck are you doing here?"

"L.A…" Amu said under her breath.

"This is so weird. I never thought I'd meet my chara… ow!" Amu stepped on L.A.'s foot stopping her from completing her sentence.

"How do you know our names?" Tori asked.

"Wait a minute," Sira's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Amu said you were a writer…"

"Uh, Amu and I need to get going," L.A said as Amu and she started to back away.

"Are you writing our story?" Sira demanded.

"Eh-heh-heh," L.A. leaned towards Amu and whispered. "We need to get out of here."

"Get her!" Tori yelled.

L.A. and Amu let out girlish screams as Sira and Tori charged at them. Just as they were about to get attacked, Amu and L.A. were sucked through a hole.

With a plop, L.A. found herself back in her room. Amu was safely tucked away in her mind and her characters were trapped in another world with no way to hurt her.

Shaking her head, L.A. returned to her laptop. "I need to remember to be nicer to my characters."

* * *

L.A.: Except I won't be nicer to my characters. Because I'm evil.

Amu: (sighs) you are ridiculous.

L.A.: Anywho, I hoped you enjoy this random story.

Amu: And now L.A. will go work on Pencils and Paintbrushes, right?

L.A.: (grumbles)

Amu: Don't worry, she will now that she has some free time.

L.A.: Anyway, you know what to do. READ and REVIEW!


End file.
